Self-Forgiveness and Self-Love

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We must forgive ourselves for our past and move forward in self-love.

 These our my words of wisdom from my cancer survivor journey and also others.

We think that our biggest challenges in life come from our kids or our work and careers.  But our biggest challenge in life is to love ourselves completely.  We carry so much guilt and pain around with us that we don’t even realize. Imagine this guilt and pain from years and years of our life as stuffed in suitcases.  The suitcases eventually get so heavy it is hard to walk around with them.  We try to lug them around and it slows us down.  We don’t understand why things aren’t working, or why we can’t move forward, or why life seems so hard.  We are carrying a heavy load, often unconscious.

We have to forgive ourselves to love ourselves again.  We may not be proud of what we did or said and would like to take it all back, but we can’t.  We have to let it go forever and move forward.  Then we can be and do the next great thing.

Our past is gone.  We can’t change it. 

“Hold yourself in your own arms and be nurtured in the presence of self-love.” Genie O’Malley

This is an excerpt from the book Into The Light by Dr. John Lerma from a young girl.  What profound words of wisdom!

The Ego and Self-Forgiveness:

“It is by forgiving oneself and then others, that we are forgiven…” Marlese, a 12 y.o. girl, who died from muscle cancer. She expanded on what the angels explained about self-forgiveness. The angels and her deceased father explained that to forgive yourself does not necessarily mean that you should forget what you did or said that is making you feel guilty.

Most people feel more guilty about sinful thoughts as opposed to comments or actions that hurt others. Either way, these continued actions, without finding daily self-forgiveness, pile up, if you will, in our mind and subconscious to a point where the actions are replaced with an attitude that projects hateful, condemning and judgmental expressions on others.

 The ego does this as it never wants to blame itself. It feels that self-condemnation will destroy itself, and it cannot allow that. What the unintelligent and selfish ego does not understand is that the act of self-forgiveness empowers the person within and is not self-defeating. So to forgive oneself, one must find the person within that is above the ego. The person that knows the difference between right and wrong,

This person is the higher being that is connected to the Source of our being; God. Therefore, by taking time out to pray or meditate with total truth with the accompanied deep desire to understand that this life is a series of unending lessons, some difficult and others joyful, one can then begin to evolve. This metamorphosis that all humans are experiencing is fueled by self-forgiveness and the realization that our Creator loves us just the way we are.

Without forgiving oneself, our final change from a caterpillar to a beautiful monarch will be halted, slowed or possibly mutated. Not forgiving oneself forces one to hold on to guilt and pain and demand the impossible; that you become someone other than yourself. That is to say the ego wants to be able to control a person that has not achieved understanding and enlightenment from ones faults and shortcomings. This is due to the gift of free will.

The good news is that God will never abandon us. Remember Dr. Lerma, nothing is impossible with our Creator. Just remember that to forgive yourself means you understand that you might have acted or thought differently if you had known how.

 Forgiving yourself means you finally recognize that you did not know how to accomplish something in different manner and realize you have learned from your mistake(s). To forgive yourself means you are finally willing to accept yourself just as you were at the time you made the error in judgment that you have been holding over your head.

Let’s take these words of wisdom from a dying little girl and use them in our lives.


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