Throughout our lives we have developed expectations of what we think should happen, or how we think our life should be, or how someone else should act…..the list goes on.  It is part of our human nature and has become a habit of ours.  We place expectations on everything.

It goes against our old habits not to have expectations.  But can we drop expectations?  What if we did?  What would happen?

We pray for our desires of what we truly want for our lives to be perfect.  Is this different than expectations?

Could one be coming from our heart and another be coming from our mind?   Maybe, I don’t know.

Dropping all expectations may free some of us from thought, worry, analysis, fear, etc.  The very things that can block us and stop us from moving forward.

And just watch your life as a neutral observer.  Watch your thoughts, watch your emotions, watch your physical body….stand outside of these and just be the observer with no judgement or expectation.

When you become the observer, you no longer identify with the mind….you are no longer the mind.

This creates space between YOU and the mind and the emotions.  This space allows the energy of the thoughts to diminish and eventually stop controlling your life.  Because you are not these thoughts or emotions.  You are an energy or a spirit far greater and more powerful.  You are just trapped in your mind and emotions at times and get lost.

Be the OBSERVER and create space to connect to you natural power within…YOU

Your gut may say one thing…..and then your mind keeps telling you another.  Which do you follow?

I was at the crossroad last summer and wondered which direction????  I felt strongly that I should step back, stop what I was doing and see what happens.  So I did….I stopped blogging, tweeting, facebooking, etc.. I was in a resting place. 

I really didn’t know why or what or who or how…I was to follow my inner guidance.  And as you all know, life can get in the way and the guidance system is sometimes hard to hear.  Maybe I needed to brush off the dust and cobwebs off the system so I could hear more clearly the inner wisdom.

Maybe I needed to take a rest, to be quiet to be able to hear where I was to go next.

Maybe I needed to make room for the next great thing to enter my life.

So I listened and stopped and trusted I would hear my next step to take in life.

WOW….looking back now I can’t believe what really happened!!

How do I deal with the never ending fear associated with a cancer diagnosis?  (not just for cancer but for all our fears)

Just the word cancer brings up a huge energy of fear in everyone…we have come to know the word and the dreaded consequences of it.  Cancer seems to be everywhere….it touches everyones life…its scary!!  We begin to believe if I get cancer its a death sentence.  Its not….but we hold these beliefs and fears about cancer within us.

If you are going through treatment for cancer it is a never ending state of fear…is the treatment working?

Will my cancer cells die?  Will it come back?  Will I be sick?  What will happen to my kids, spouse, family? How am I going to pay for all this?  What if I can’t work?  What if I lose my job?  What if I die?

And the list goes on and on….Can you feel the above words…how much fear and how you can spiral into millions of questions and more and more fear?

It is like a vicious circle feeding off itself…creating more and more of the fearful thoughts and scenerios.

This is common and can happen….but it is very important to have tools to shift yourself out of that energy into a higher energy.  Your body can heal, there are many treatments and options available,  and you have to work on staying in a higher vibration of energy for your body to heal.  Your body can’t heal in a low energy state.

If you noticed all the questions above have to do with what might happen…..none of them are happening now…they are something that could happen in the future….SO they are not even real.

Your mind creates thoughts which can rule your life….it can create monstrosities……

You have two options……continue to think about all these fearful things that may happen in the future…which wastes all your healing energy…..

OR

Notice all these thoughts and DECIDE…that you don’t know what is going to happen in the future and thinking, thinking, thinking and becoming more fearful is wasting your time and precious energy.  The energy you want to heal.

You choose…….

If you choose to use your energy for healing…try this………………..

Focus your attention in your body as much as possible.  Feel it from within.  Is there life in your hands, feet, arms, chest, etc.?  Can you feel energy flowing through your body?  Stay focussed on your inner body.  Notice the pulsating energy flowing through all your cells and organ…this is what gives you life…Feel it deeply.  Feel your body alive.

Your focus on the inner body has freed your mind…….this will help you so you won’t lose yourself in your mind.  You will still have thoughts, emotions, fears, etc. but they won’t take you over.

Practice this every day for a week and you will be amazed at how you feel.  Many times a day, refocus yourself back into your inner body and feel it.

You may find the process of journaling helps you recognize areas in your life that you can feel good about and areas that you want to change.

Find a quiet, comfortable spot to do your writing. Spend as much time writing as you want. You can write several pages, a couple of lines or even just one word to express how you feel or what you are thinking.  Understand what’s important in your life:

Make a list of what is important to you, such as your goals, dreams and what you hope for in the future.
• You could have a short-term list related to the next few days or weeks and a long-term list related to the next month or year.
• You can decide what is most important to you on the list and try to accomplish those things first.

Create a plan of action:
• From the list you have created, pick at least one or two of the short-term items and make a plan of action for how you can accomplish them. For example, you might have on your list something related to wanting to enjoy life more.
• The plan of action might be that you would do at least one thing each day that brings you joy. This could be sitting quietly while enjoying a cup of tea, going for a walk in the park, playing a musical instrument or soaking in the bathtub.
• Also, you can pick one or two long-term items. For example you might want to learn more about a specific topic.
• The plan of action could be to get a class brochure for a local community college or to look for courses online.

Throughout our lives we have acquired behavior and actions as a result of our environment, from our parents, teachers, friends.  We may have watched our parents interactions and through them made assumptions about how to behave in a marriage and home.  We make assumptions on what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t.  Often we are quite unaware of how we take on others actions, until we find ourselves in a similar situation and we see ourselves acting just as our parents did.

We have to choices…be aware of it..take note and ask, Isn’t that interesting?  Why am I acting like that?

Or we can completely ignore it and continue living.  This behavior will continue to crop up in our lives and relationships until we take notice.

It is usually an emotion that you will feel that will grab your attention.  If anger or sadness or despair show up within you, it is a clear sign for you to take notice.  Our emotions are there to help guide us through our life, they serve a big purpose.  Emotions that you become aware of are also a great opportunity for you to shift and grow and be all you can be.

Recently I experienced this in action.  In a pleasant conversation, I made a causal statement that didn’t sit well with an aquaintance.  It stirred something in them and I was completely unaware of any emotion behind it.  They lashed out in anger and name calling.  I was stunned.  Isn’t this interesting?  What is this all about?

Immediately I felt the behavior was inappropriate and couldn’t believe someone would respond in that manner.  I felt sadness, confusion, and anger.  And then I remembered, this is an opportunity to look at my emotions and where they are guiding me.

All emotions are energy.  Everything is energy, our bodies, the universe, food, actions, etc.  If we choose to ignore the energy (emotion) where does it go?  We can sometimes store it within us.  This negative energy stored within us over time can cause lots of pain and suffering.  Blocked energy in our body is the source of disease.  Then in the future when faced with a similar emotion or situation, that energy we stored in our body can get activated and come streaming out of us. 

Have you ever responded to something someone said something someone does in anger or sadness (or any emotion) and later wondered, Where did that come from?  Probably from stored past energy/emotion within you.

So I had an opportunity to look at this emotion within me.  Where did it come from?  Could I feel it in my body?  I felt it in my heart area.  Then I asked myself, has there been a time in my life where I overreacted and lashed out in anger or name calling?  And of course there have been times.  Then I felt this feeling and wondered what it would feel like it all that anger or name calling energy was gone.  It would feel free, light, compassionate and love.  I then filled my body with this energy of lightness and light and love.  I felt a change in my body and my emotions.

Every moment is an opportunity to grow into the divine beings we already are.  Disease is an opportunity to move from what we don’t want to what we do.  It is an opportunity to explore our emotions and our body and release all that is no longer serving us..

We are moving toward EASE in every moment.  Don’t let the moment pass by that you don’t take the opportunity to look at your emotions coming up and explore the stored energy within you.  As we move through this life we can release the pain and suffering we carry with us one moment at a time.  This is life.

Living your authentic self is living your true nature, your inner truth,that truth which resides in your heart and soul.  When you are living your authentic self you are guided every moment by the divine truth within you.

You are not acting and saying based on who you are talking to or what others think you should do or say.  You are not allowing the world around you to dictate what you do and who you are.  Deep within you is the truth of who you are and what you believe and you act on this guidance throughout your day.  You are true to yourself.  This is being authentic.

Here is an article by Carol Adrienne and some good tips on being authentic and how to notice when you aren’t.

Also click here to for 5 steps to living from the inside out Living From The Heart.  A great workbook to start being authentic in all areas of your life

As children we have no trouble being authentic. Remember when you woke up in the summer happy with anticipation for the day? Remember the joy you took in having your friends sleep over? Remember your parents’ mixed reaction when you blurted out some delightful, albeit disconcerting, blunt truth? Growing up, we naturally question authority or the status quo because curiosity and the need to understand how the world works are prime motivations in our developing psyche. At some critical point, however, it is inevitably driven home to us that in order to get along in the world, sometimes we need to withhold our opinions, listen to our elders, deny what we see and hear, lie low or even lie. We begin the process of putting a lot of stuff—beliefs, opinions, self-criticisms, pain, fear, disappointments, humiliations, anger, rage, feelings of distrust and abandonment in a closet—with the idea that maybe it will go away or we’ll sort it out later.

The voice of the authentic self seems to be the same as the intuitive voice, that quiet, but persistent voice that whispers new ideas to us in the middle of the night, on vacation, or after meditating. Intuition speaks in short, clear messages that are qualitatively different from the repetitive mind chatter that makes us feel anxious. Intuition tells us where the authentic choice is—for us.

When we are birthing a more authentic version of ourselves—especially when we are unconsciously growing away from the familiar unspoken contracts and agreements we have with people, we experience some or all of the following feelings, which Rae expressed in our conversation. I asked her to state what she does not want as the first step in identifying what she does want. She said, “I don’t want to be dependent on anyone. I don’t want to feel unsure of myself. I don’t want to be tired all the time. I don’t want to be negative, to always see the down side, or to expect the worst. I don’t want to be a fearful worry wart. I don’t want to be a people-pleaser. I don’t want to feel that I am not being authentic.”

In a recent article in Noetic Sciences Review (March-May 2003), Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now, says, “More and more, you realize that you are not your thoughts, because they come and go. They’re all conditioned; they’re all just the contents of your mind. Instead of deriving a sense of self from those contents, you realize that you can simply observe the contents. A deeper sense of self arises then. That is the aware presence, and it feels very spacious and peaceful, no matter what happens in your mind.”

Below is a list of some of feelings that comprise a syndrome of inauthenticity—which occurs when our inner needs, values, and self-image don’t match our outer expression, behaviors, and accomplishments—and some major characteristics of an authentic person.

• MEDITATE. Practice clearing the mind regularly. Observe passing thoughts as if they were clouds.
• SPECIFY THE FEAR. When you feel fear about some new action or decision, write down exactly what you are afraid might happen. Get very clear about the shape of the fear and what you are actually dealing with.
• FIND THE ROOT. Ask yourself, Whose voice is talking to me? Who is making me afraid? Is it my voice? My parents? The voice of mass media?
• MANAGE AROUND THE FEAR. Write down specific things you could do to work around the fear so that you can take a small step in spite of it.
• DROP SELF-DOUBT. The best way to feel good about yourself is to complete something that you have been putting off, or to set one small goal and achieve it. Nothing begins to erase self-doubt more easily than a little string of successes.
• LOOK FOR A THIRD SOLUTION. Whenever you are agonizing over two choices, remember that this polarization serves a purpose—to keep you from taking any step. When lost in black and white thinking, look for a third option.
• APPRECIATE YOUR UNIQUENESS. Everyone has a special knack, talents, and skills. Everyone.
• STOP STRUGGLING. There is a time for perseverance and a time to let go.
• ENJOY THE MOMENT. Take delights in small pleasures and beauty. Be with people you love and enjoy.
• TAKE TIME. Slow down. Avoid the tendency to fill up the space.
• STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE. Nothing drains energy more than suppressing action, passion, and commitment.
• SIMPLIFY. Troubles arise when we set ourselves up to do too many things or to manage too much stuff. Being authentic is being able to say yes when you mean it and no when you need to.
• SPEND MORE TIME IN NATURE. The beauty, quiet, and harmony of nature helps you observe your thoughts as separate from who you are. Natural surroundings help put options into perspective. Peaceful sounds of birds, flowing water, wind, and waves lull the mental chatter and clear the mind. To quote Eckhart Tolle, “When your sense of self is no longer tied to thought, is no longer conceptual, there is a depth of feeling of sensing, of compassion, of loving that was not there when you were trapped in mental concepts. You are that depth.”

You need not make huge changes in your life to experience being more alert and present. Acting on any one of the choices above can immediately change how you experience your life.

© Copyright 2003 Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.

Did you know the chemicals that make up our emotional feelings only stay in our blood for 90 seconds? 90 Seconds!

We all have the power to cycle out of worry, anger or fear…here’s how.

Feel how your “mood” or “attitude” or “feeling” actually feels in your body.

  Are you calm? Peaceful? Happy?  Is life feeling pleasant right now? 

If not, then REST, put yourself on PAUSE for 90 seconds. STOP whatever you are doing.

Breathe. Breathe again. Breathe once more.

Then shift your thoughts to anything or anyone you love and allow your chest to relax: music, sunsets, mountains, oceans, dogs – and keep picturing and thinking and breathing for 90 seconds.

This isn’t a game, this is physiology. You must be truly engaged with your emotions for this to work…and it does work!

You are the conductor of your internal chemical orchestra.

Karen Lamark Wilson www.HeartofCourage.com

We are all created in love and our true essence is love.  When we experience this as ourself, we can share it with the rest of God’s creation.  Love is the energy we communicate in.  We can all feel it.  Can YOU?

This is a powerful expression of love.  One little girl loving and giving of her love as her family experiences cancer.  This is a 20 second video.  Feel it and share it.

Click here to see love in action

Your presence is a gift to the world,
You’re unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be –
Take it one day at a time.

Count your blessings, not your troubles,
And you will make it through what comes along.
Within you are so many answers,
Understand, have courage, be strong.

Don’t put limits on yourself,
Your dreams are waiting to be realized.
Don’t leave your important decisions to chance –
Reach for your peak, your goal, and your prize.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying –
The longer a problem is carried, the heavier it gets.
Don’t take things too seriously –
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little love goes a long way –
Remember that a lot goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment,
Life’s treasures are people…together.

Have health and hope and happiness,
Take the time to wish on a star.
And don’t ever forget for even a day…
How very special YOU are!

This was one of my most profound lessons as a cancer survivor.

Yet the core of our being, our soul, is LOVE!

We lose ourselves in this thing we call life. We forget who we are and what we came here for. We begin to believe we are all these experiences we are having. Through our experiences, we form beliefs and then we live out these beliefs over and over.

But we are not our thoughts, beliefs, and experiences. They exist outside of us.

We have a choice every moment to love and accept ourselves and create the life we choose. So many of us spend our time hoping, wishing, planning and scheming for our lives to be different than what they already are. We have used so much energy and time trying to create situations other than the one that we have, and end up missing the life in front our noses today.

It is absolutely necessary to love our life and ourselves exactly as they are right now. Loving whatever is present in your life today is one of the greatest secrets to manifesting more love and abundance in your life. Be grateful for now and everything in now.

Reconnecting to my heart, I began to see ME again, and remember ME. I peeled away layers of thoughts, beliefs and experiences I accumulated through my life. I saw at my core I was love. But did I really love ME? Until I loved and accepted me completely, I knew I could never truly love another, and I knew I could never truly be well and alive and a cancer survivor.

When you connect to your heart and live from the inside out, you will see you are so much more than you can even imagine. Because at your core you are love itself.

The more you love and accept yourself exactly as you are, the more love you get from others, and the more loving, empowering, and abundant experiences you will have. Loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve, you improve your world.

“I accept, approve, appreciate and love, myself exactly as I am.”
You are love, and you are powerful beyond belief.
Live Your Greatness!