Throughout our lives we have developed expectations of what we think should happen, or how we think our life should be, or how someone else should act…..the list goes on.  It is part of our human nature and has become a habit of ours.  We place expectations on everything.

It goes against our old habits not to have expectations.  But can we drop expectations?  What if we did?  What would happen?

We pray for our desires of what we truly want for our lives to be perfect.  Is this different than expectations?

Could one be coming from our heart and another be coming from our mind?   Maybe, I don’t know.

Dropping all expectations may free some of us from thought, worry, analysis, fear, etc.  The very things that can block us and stop us from moving forward.

And just watch your life as a neutral observer.  Watch your thoughts, watch your emotions, watch your physical body….stand outside of these and just be the observer with no judgement or expectation.

When you become the observer, you no longer identify with the mind….you are no longer the mind.

This creates space between YOU and the mind and the emotions.  This space allows the energy of the thoughts to diminish and eventually stop controlling your life.  Because you are not these thoughts or emotions.  You are an energy or a spirit far greater and more powerful.  You are just trapped in your mind and emotions at times and get lost.

Be the OBSERVER and create space to connect to you natural power within…YOU

How do I deal with the never ending fear associated with a cancer diagnosis?  (not just for cancer but for all our fears)

Just the word cancer brings up a huge energy of fear in everyone…we have come to know the word and the dreaded consequences of it.  Cancer seems to be everywhere….it touches everyones life…its scary!!  We begin to believe if I get cancer its a death sentence.  Its not….but we hold these beliefs and fears about cancer within us.

If you are going through treatment for cancer it is a never ending state of fear…is the treatment working?

Will my cancer cells die?  Will it come back?  Will I be sick?  What will happen to my kids, spouse, family? How am I going to pay for all this?  What if I can’t work?  What if I lose my job?  What if I die?

And the list goes on and on….Can you feel the above words…how much fear and how you can spiral into millions of questions and more and more fear?

It is like a vicious circle feeding off itself…creating more and more of the fearful thoughts and scenerios.

This is common and can happen….but it is very important to have tools to shift yourself out of that energy into a higher energy.  Your body can heal, there are many treatments and options available,  and you have to work on staying in a higher vibration of energy for your body to heal.  Your body can’t heal in a low energy state.

If you noticed all the questions above have to do with what might happen…..none of them are happening now…they are something that could happen in the future….SO they are not even real.

Your mind creates thoughts which can rule your life….it can create monstrosities……

You have two options……continue to think about all these fearful things that may happen in the future…which wastes all your healing energy…..

OR

Notice all these thoughts and DECIDE…that you don’t know what is going to happen in the future and thinking, thinking, thinking and becoming more fearful is wasting your time and precious energy.  The energy you want to heal.

You choose…….

If you choose to use your energy for healing…try this………………..

Focus your attention in your body as much as possible.  Feel it from within.  Is there life in your hands, feet, arms, chest, etc.?  Can you feel energy flowing through your body?  Stay focussed on your inner body.  Notice the pulsating energy flowing through all your cells and organ…this is what gives you life…Feel it deeply.  Feel your body alive.

Your focus on the inner body has freed your mind…….this will help you so you won’t lose yourself in your mind.  You will still have thoughts, emotions, fears, etc. but they won’t take you over.

Practice this every day for a week and you will be amazed at how you feel.  Many times a day, refocus yourself back into your inner body and feel it.

Touching words from the mouth of babes.   A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, ‘What does love mean?’

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her

toenails anymore. So my grandfather

does it for her all the time, even when

his hands got arthritis too. That’s love..’

Rebecca- age 8

‘When someone loves you, the way

they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe

in their mouth.’

Billy – age 4

‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume

and a boy puts on shaving cologne and

they go out and smell each other.’

Karl – age 5

‘Love is when you go out to eat and

give somebody most of your French

fries without making them give you any

of theirs.’

Chrissy – age 6

‘Love is what makes you smile when

you’re tired.’

Terri – age 4

‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee

for my daddy and she takes a sip before

giving it to him, to make sure the taste is

OK.’

Danny – age 7

‘Love is when you kiss all the time.

Then when you get tired of kissing,

you still want to be together and you

talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are

like that.
They look gross when they kiss’

Emily – age 8

‘Love is what’s in the room with you

at Christmas if you stop opening presents
and listen.’

Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

‘If you want to learn to love better, you

should start with a friend who you hate,’

Nikka – age 6
(we need a few million more Nikkas on this planet)

‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his

shirt, then he wears it everyday.’

Noelle – age 7

‘Love is like a little old woman and a

little old man who are still friends even

after they know each other so well.’

Tommy – age 6

‘During my piano recital, I was on a

stage and I was scared. I looked at

all the people watching me and saw my

daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I

wasn’t scared anymore.’

Cindy – age 8

‘My mommy loves me more than

anybody You don’t see anyone else

kissing me to sleep at night.’

Clare – age 6

‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy

the best piece of chicken.’

Elaine-age 5

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy

smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’

Chris – age 7

‘Love is when your puppy licks

your

face even after you left him alone

all day.’

Mary Ann – age 4

‘I know my older sister loves me

because she gives me all her old clothes

and has to go out and buy new ones.’

Lauren – age 4

‘When you love somebody, your

eyelashes go up and down and little

stars come out of you.’ (what an image)

Karen – age 7

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy

on the toilet and she doesn’t think

it’s gross.’

Mark – age 6

‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’

unless you mean it. But if you mean it,

you should say it a lot. People forget.’

Jessica – age 8

And the final one

The winner was a four year old child

whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy

went into the old gentleman’s yard,

climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had

said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

‘Nothing, I just helped him cry’

Throughout our lives we have acquired behavior and actions as a result of our environment, from our parents, teachers, friends.  We may have watched our parents interactions and through them made assumptions about how to behave in a marriage and home.  We make assumptions on what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t.  Often we are quite unaware of how we take on others actions, until we find ourselves in a similar situation and we see ourselves acting just as our parents did.

We have to choices…be aware of it..take note and ask, Isn’t that interesting?  Why am I acting like that?

Or we can completely ignore it and continue living.  This behavior will continue to crop up in our lives and relationships until we take notice.

It is usually an emotion that you will feel that will grab your attention.  If anger or sadness or despair show up within you, it is a clear sign for you to take notice.  Our emotions are there to help guide us through our life, they serve a big purpose.  Emotions that you become aware of are also a great opportunity for you to shift and grow and be all you can be.

Recently I experienced this in action.  In a pleasant conversation, I made a causal statement that didn’t sit well with an aquaintance.  It stirred something in them and I was completely unaware of any emotion behind it.  They lashed out in anger and name calling.  I was stunned.  Isn’t this interesting?  What is this all about?

Immediately I felt the behavior was inappropriate and couldn’t believe someone would respond in that manner.  I felt sadness, confusion, and anger.  And then I remembered, this is an opportunity to look at my emotions and where they are guiding me.

All emotions are energy.  Everything is energy, our bodies, the universe, food, actions, etc.  If we choose to ignore the energy (emotion) where does it go?  We can sometimes store it within us.  This negative energy stored within us over time can cause lots of pain and suffering.  Blocked energy in our body is the source of disease.  Then in the future when faced with a similar emotion or situation, that energy we stored in our body can get activated and come streaming out of us. 

Have you ever responded to something someone said something someone does in anger or sadness (or any emotion) and later wondered, Where did that come from?  Probably from stored past energy/emotion within you.

So I had an opportunity to look at this emotion within me.  Where did it come from?  Could I feel it in my body?  I felt it in my heart area.  Then I asked myself, has there been a time in my life where I overreacted and lashed out in anger or name calling?  And of course there have been times.  Then I felt this feeling and wondered what it would feel like it all that anger or name calling energy was gone.  It would feel free, light, compassionate and love.  I then filled my body with this energy of lightness and light and love.  I felt a change in my body and my emotions.

Every moment is an opportunity to grow into the divine beings we already are.  Disease is an opportunity to move from what we don’t want to what we do.  It is an opportunity to explore our emotions and our body and release all that is no longer serving us..

We are moving toward EASE in every moment.  Don’t let the moment pass by that you don’t take the opportunity to look at your emotions coming up and explore the stored energy within you.  As we move through this life we can release the pain and suffering we carry with us one moment at a time.  This is life.

Did you know the chemicals that make up our emotional feelings only stay in our blood for 90 seconds? 90 Seconds!

We all have the power to cycle out of worry, anger or fear…here’s how.

Feel how your “mood” or “attitude” or “feeling” actually feels in your body.

  Are you calm? Peaceful? Happy?  Is life feeling pleasant right now? 

If not, then REST, put yourself on PAUSE for 90 seconds. STOP whatever you are doing.

Breathe. Breathe again. Breathe once more.

Then shift your thoughts to anything or anyone you love and allow your chest to relax: music, sunsets, mountains, oceans, dogs – and keep picturing and thinking and breathing for 90 seconds.

This isn’t a game, this is physiology. You must be truly engaged with your emotions for this to work…and it does work!

You are the conductor of your internal chemical orchestra.

Karen Lamark Wilson www.HeartofCourage.com

These have been my encouraging words for years now.  When dealing with a crisis or a difficult interaction, or experience and we are talking about it and feeling overwhelmed and sad and angry, all we really have to do is breathe.  All these emotions come up and take over our bodies and our minds.  Sometimes we even feel like we are going crazy, we feel we are out of control.  And we probably are!

We have let these emotions, which are energy, run wild in and around our bodies.  The energy is negative and affects our body.  The mind then feeds off this energy and thus creates more thoughts, which in turn creates more negative emotion and more negative energy all around us.  It is a feeding frenzy, creating more and more of the emotion and thought we don’t want.  We feel like we are caught in a wheel out of control and can’t get off. 

I was a life time member of the “spinning wheel club”.  I lived in the space most of the time, until I was so tired and out of control I got sick.  Don’t wait until something falls in your world and you are unable to pick it up.  My mission as a cancer survivor speaker is to share my experience to help you.

Breathe, breathe, breathe……………It is the easiest and most affective way to calm our body and our mind and slow down our thoughts which in turn slows down our emotions.  You will feel a calmness.

When you focus on just your breath, you center yourself to that place within you that is peace.  You get out of your mind, which is trying to control you.  It takes you over and you don’t even recognize it.  It has become the way you have lived most of your life.  So it is a habit.  You think you are your mind.  Step back, breathe…..go within to the place of peace and calm.

There you are….the YOU that is watching or aware…not the thought…YOU are the awareness!!! Whoo HOO!

Go to Living From The Heart workbook and take the steps to change your habit!!

Yolaine had 3 episodes of major depression and each one ended in a miraculous physical healing also.  How does that happen?  (Listen to her story on Truly Alive radio to the right on this page).

I believe when we are in a tug of war between our spirit self and our ego self .  When we are in perfect alignment with our spirit self and all that is, God, universe whatever you want to call it, miracles happen.  This is a natural occurance when we are in this state of being.  I believe in miracles every moment.  I believe we were born to express our God self through our physical experience.

When we become distracted by our thoughts and our mind, we are unable to hear our true self speaking to us. 

Yolaine believes depression is….

“A symptom, not a diagnosis. The suffering comes from the repeated wounds inflicted upon our hearts by thoughts and beliefs that are not in harmony with our authentic, spiritual nature. The lack of energy is battle fatigue from the war being waged between our hearts and our heads. It’s our spirit’s desperate way of boycotting our actions – a last ditch effort to get us to change.  Your head may want to give up, but your spirit never will.”

Our spirit is screaming out to us, to be recognized, to be listened to and we ignore it.  It is gently guided us along our path and we are not listening.  We think, feel and act in opposition to our true nature.  And that is love, joy, harmony, peace, compassion….. Then what happens……???  We get tired, we get sick, we lose our job, we experience bad relationships….. All of which is part of our physical expression and experience here on earth.

Can we change our experience?

Yolaine says, “Most depression is a spiritual problem that requires a spiritual solution.  Thoughts of hopelessness, when our spirits are visionary optimists, drag us down. Thoughts of control, manipulation and victimization,  when our spirits rejoice in self empowerment, enslave us. Negative, angry and judgmental thoughts, when our spirits are made of unconditional love, mire us in mud. Thoughts of powerlessness, when our spirits need creative expession,  chain us to the wall.  Thoughts of fear and worry, when our spirits have nothing to fear, keep us in darkness.  Thoughts of shame or guilt,  when our spirits teach forgiveness and compassion,  keep us trapped.”

So if our spirits are optimistic, empowered, unconditional love, freedom, compassion can we use our spirit to heal?

Yolaine sees it every day with her clients as she helps them obtain freedom again and release the prison walls they have created.  To get a copy of Yolaines book, Spiritual Solution to Depression and get more information, Click here.

Is there really a spiritual solution to disease?  Is there a spiritual solution to cancer??????

And if so how do we do it?

We are all created in love and our true essence is love.  When we experience this as ourself, we can share it with the rest of God’s creation.  Love is the energy we communicate in.  We can all feel it.  Can YOU?

This is a powerful expression of love.  One little girl loving and giving of her love as her family experiences cancer.  This is a 20 second video.  Feel it and share it.

Click here to see love in action

This was one of my most profound lessons as a cancer survivor.

Yet the core of our being, our soul, is LOVE!

We lose ourselves in this thing we call life. We forget who we are and what we came here for. We begin to believe we are all these experiences we are having. Through our experiences, we form beliefs and then we live out these beliefs over and over.

But we are not our thoughts, beliefs, and experiences. They exist outside of us.

We have a choice every moment to love and accept ourselves and create the life we choose. So many of us spend our time hoping, wishing, planning and scheming for our lives to be different than what they already are. We have used so much energy and time trying to create situations other than the one that we have, and end up missing the life in front our noses today.

It is absolutely necessary to love our life and ourselves exactly as they are right now. Loving whatever is present in your life today is one of the greatest secrets to manifesting more love and abundance in your life. Be grateful for now and everything in now.

Reconnecting to my heart, I began to see ME again, and remember ME. I peeled away layers of thoughts, beliefs and experiences I accumulated through my life. I saw at my core I was love. But did I really love ME? Until I loved and accepted me completely, I knew I could never truly love another, and I knew I could never truly be well and alive and a cancer survivor.

When you connect to your heart and live from the inside out, you will see you are so much more than you can even imagine. Because at your core you are love itself.

The more you love and accept yourself exactly as you are, the more love you get from others, and the more loving, empowering, and abundant experiences you will have. Loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve, you improve your world.

“I accept, approve, appreciate and love, myself exactly as I am.”
You are love, and you are powerful beyond belief.
Live Your Greatness!

Make lists of  all the wonderful things about you. Keep adding to it every day.

These are simple words of wisdom from a cancer survivor that knows it is part of any healing.

Know that you are perfect. Do not think any negative thoughts about you.

Know that you are worthy and deserving of anything and everything you could possibly want in your life.

This isn’t something we were taught and socialized with.  But we can remember that feeling as a very young child.  Can’t YOU?

Every single relationship you have is a reflection of how you feel inside about you. You are a magnet attracting to you all things, via the signal you are emitting through your thoughts and feelings. Every relationship you have and every interaction with every person, is a reflection of your own thoughts and feelings in that very moment.  Jaffee

Love yourself and know that you are deserving and worthy of abundance in every area of your life.

Appreciate and love yourself in every moment you can.  As your cancer survivor speaker, I have to shout this from the rooftops.

It is just like any other choice.

Take a breath and choose the self love path.

Say yes to creating your best self and say no to being destructive towards yourself.

Say yes to what feels good and right and perfect. And then act accordingly.

Take five minutes right now and write down all the wonderful things about YOU.